Sound Bites

DNA

2011-03-21T07:57:00.002-06:00

I need genetic testing to determine whether I am adopted. If so, this must be the biggest joke in the world.

My parents could not be further from logic when it comes to simple concepts having to do with human interaction and communication.

I could not have fallen further from the tree. I wish it was only unfortunate for them, but it is unfortunate for me, too.

Shrinking?

2011-03-13T20:31:00.002-06:00

Ever since coming back from Malaysia, I seem to have been losing a little bit of weight. Shocking! Even more shocking because I have not put forth any concerted to try and lose weight, but when I have tried (with little consistency) it hasn't worked.

I didn't even notice until I tried on these jeans, which before used to suffocate my thighs and calves, and found that they were loose!

I've got several hypotheses about this sudden weight loss. It must be that food here is so off-putting compared to the delicious and superior food I had for nearly a month that I haven't eaten as much as I used to. Plus, I don't force myself to finish everything anymore; I realize that portions in America are simply too big for my body. Lastly, without getting too graphic, I take a dump way more than I used to--like once a day or every other day. It must be a good thing, right? I've usually only gone once every couple of days, and that is when I presume I was eating more! On that same note, I think I am going a lot more because I just drink, drink, drink--a lot.

Thanks to my trusty new Stanley thermos cup, I have been taking advantage of the green tea supplies at work and and end up drinking all shift. As a result, I unwittingly skip what usually would be a cafeteria dinner and hold off on eating until I get home every night!

I hope these habits keep up, because I am horrible at achieving my goals and give up too easily.

The Last Year

2010-08-29T16:41:00.001-06:00

My senior year just commenced, and I can't believe I find myself on this part of the journey already. I feel excited and anxious, nervous about whether I will be able to pull off this semester with good grades and a worthwhile experience.

On top of 30+ hours of work at the hospital, I have got 4 classes, and a 10-15-hour internship per week at Ascend Alliance, a humanitarian, non-profit organization headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah. Ironically, I feel dubious, not about my abilities to time manage this semester, but about whether I will even have enough time to accomplish everything and have time to take a five-day vacation to San Diego and Las Vegas over fall break.

By semester's end, I will need to have accumulated at least 160 internship hours.

Furthermore, I hope to take finals early so that I can head to Malaysia for a three-week vacation, which means that I've got to complete my internship requirements within a very compressed amount of time.

"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."

2010-03-26T19:49:00.002-06:00

Except, I don't like summer. But it's all that's been on my mind lately. I have been scrambling to find things to do, internships to intern at; I spend every spare moment I have speed applying for every corporate internship I can think of. Thus far, I have only received two replies, and both internships are based in Utah. At this point, I could care less where my internship is located, or even that it's in Utah. Staying here over the summer would minimize financial and re-location stress, but of course, I will always wonder about the wonderful internships outside of Utah I might have enjoyed more.

Things are not all drab, though. The one internship here that I am pinning my hopes on is at Mutual of Omaha, an insurance/financial-type company. The position is one of a financial planner/analyst-type thing. The recruiter mentioned something about outbound, non-sales calls to inform clients of financial products, but she mentioned something about handling clients' assets/finances. So I will be very excited if I get this, because I have always wanted to handle people's assets, but never thought that there was really any market for such a position, considering all people really talk about in the financial world is i-banking, accounting, brokering, and so on. My hope is that having this relatively big-name company on my resume will ease the job search post-graduation. The recruiter even said that if they like me as an intern I may be hired on permanently, and this company has offices nationwide, including in New York. *Fingers crossed*

For the First Time...

2009-12-22T20:08:00.006-07:00

I feel quite productive. I lengthened two pairs of pants and fixed an unraveled hem on one of my skirts today. On top of that, I wrapped a bunch of Christmas presents and just started the wash. (Shit, that doesn't sound like much in retrospect.) This break I am taking advantage of all the time I've got, rather than pretending that it's going to be as long as it feels, because school breaks always fly by.

I work the next couple of days, so I have had to pen things in my planner to ensure stuff gets done before Matt and I's real vacation to San Diego on the 26th. I say "real" because despite not flying (as we'd hoped we would), we will be staying at a nice hotel in the middle of the city (rather than his grandparents'; they moved to a nursing home a few months ago), and we planned for this 5-6-day vacation to be, well... a vacation. All our previous visits to San Diego have been so short we'd barely spend more than one full day there, and we were in Santee (a suburb of SD) most of the time. I think most of those "vacations" were spent driving than actually vacationing. Despite expecting to visit Seattle/Vancouver, I'll take whatever I can get.

On my agenda this upcoming break is to search for and complete internship applications, finish my study abroad application, sell some clothes on eBay, and download lots of music.

What I hope to continue doing is not spend money on outside food if I am by myself. This has helped my finances considerably, considering how much I dropped last week on presents.

Wishing everyone a safe and happy Christmas. Hope you have a good new year, too!

A Few Things

2009-09-04T22:58:00.003-06:00

Firstly, I realized today (bit late) that I must be an economics major because I detest inefficiency. I hope I hate it enough that I will work to combat it as a working professional. Mainly, I realized this today because I had bought nearly a dozen rolls of assorted ribbons for my cousin's upcoming wedding (this Labor Day weekend, in fact), fully aware that most of them would be brought back to the store for a refund. In my mind, buying more than was needed would save multiple trips to the store to buy additional things to compare and contrast. Why not just buy everything we may potentially need/like for the wedding and bring all the unused supplies back after it's all over?

Without asking my permission, and without any of the receipts which I had so methodically saved, she decided to return all of them to the store, only to receive in-store credit. But of course in-store credit didn't bother her in the least, because "you can always use the in-store credit when you shop at Walmart" and "it was on the way [to wherever she was going, presumably]." This is annoying because my original plans were disrupted, not by any uncontrollable circumstance, but simply because my mother didn't have the sense to consult me first (not to mention that I don't want goddamn in-store credit). Communication, people.

Secondly, it only hit me the evolutionary significance of eyelashes since I began using contact lenses again. It is such a pain in the ass to nudge those things onto your eyes. Removing them, however, is not nearly as much of a hassle but is still not enjoyable. I've worked with the contact lenses a few times already and am still not getting the hang out it.

Finally, it just feels a lot better to give than to receive. I think most people acknowledge this and do mean it, but rarely actually feel fully satisfied and fulfilled from doing it. Maybe I say this because truly giving is something I don't do too often, and usually the greatest satisfaction comes from giving to the people that mean the most. There is underlying reciprocity in all of this, of course. This point is probably getting a bit cliche.

Another Fall

2009-08-28T13:06:00.004-06:00

I just finished my first week of junior year, and I am already extremely pleased. I am taking the following classes:

Sports Economics
Intermediate Macroeconomics
Intro to Written Chinese
Math for Economics

My favorite class so far is Chinese; this particular course is designed for people who speak Chinese but don't have substantial reading or writing skills, i.e., people who have lived in a Chinese-speaking environment for an "extended period of time." So the class is writing and reading intensive. I was shocked (though I really shouldn't have been surprised) that the whites outnumbered the Asians 9 to 1. They probably outnumbered us even more than that, considering there are ~28 in the class and I counted about 4 Asians, including myself. (But my math skills are abhorrent, so don't quote me on that.) The majority of the whites are male also, presumably return Mormon missionaries from Chinese-speaking countries (mostly Taiwan, probably). I have to admit I was slightly saddened that there were so few Asians in the class. I guess I had imagined this would be the class where I would have the highest probability of befriending new people.

But I am no longer bothered by that considering all the people I have spoken to so far have been non-Asian (non-Asian because I haven't only spoken to whites, who are the majority ethnic group in Utah).

This fall is going to be different, for reasons more certain than others. For one, I don't have access to my friends at the push of a button anymore. Ivy has gone to Ghana, Sophia to Hong Kong, and Helen is heading to Prague soon (if she hasn't left already). I haven't seen Jihye since I transferred from NYU, because she has been on a leave of absence in her home country Korea since last spring. She is officially studying abroad in Korea this fall with special permission from NYU. (NYU doesn't have a study abroad site in Korea, so Jihye had submit a petition, and it was obviously successful.) Secondly, I embrace my current situation a lot more than I did before, though I can't say that I am 100% recovered. My outlook is more optimistic, and though I have not given up my dream of returning to New York, I understand that the remainder of my undergraduate career doesn't have to be miserable, and that I can keep my dreams and be satisfied with my current life. In other words, I can have my cake and eat it, too.

2009-08-14T03:15:00.002-06:00

Swearing is like organized/established religion. I'll have to abstain from it until I've judged my kids are mature enough to have a say in the matter, i.e., whether they get to swear (although you never know who will expose it to your kids first). The difference between swearing and religion is that I won't be explaining swear words to my kids before they're "of age", whereas I would be more than happy to indulge their religious interests as best I can. Lord knows I'm not the most well-versed in religious studies, but I would be more than happy to brush up for the sake of appeasing my kids' intellectual appetite.

2009-08-13T01:28:00.002-06:00

I began reading a novel entitled Loving Frank a few days ago, albeit I was slightly hesitant to begin reading it. I had been under the impression that it was a memoir written by Frank Lloyd Wright's wife/partner about their relationship, but when I finally picked up the book from the public library, realized that it is actually a work of fiction with historical bits weaved into the narrative. What the book really is about is Lloyd Wright's love affair (while married) with Mamah Cheney (also married). My hesitance drew not from the subject of cheating, but from the fact that this was a novel, and not a memoir, as I had mistakenly assumed.

Nonetheless, I began reading the book, and found myself slightly uncomfortable whilst reading the "cheating" bits. I'm less than 100 pages in and already the author has divulged much of the affair's details and encounters. They're not graphic by any means but evoke a bit of guilt in the reader. I suppose one can only assume this demonstrates literary skill on the writer's part, right?

Anyway, at this point I am not terribly interested in the subject matter and all that, but it is an easy read and not unenjoyable by any means, so I intend to finish it (hopefully before Matt returns from Maryland).

2009-08-13T01:21:00.003-06:00

What inspires me to write is seeing how interesting and insightful other people's blogs are. I always hope to accomplish an entry worthy of reading but always feel I fall short somewhere in terms of substance or style. Nevertheless, I chug on and hope that maybe somewhere within my blog there will be something worth reading.

It is basically the eve of my junior year in college, and I am now an economics (BA) major. I will begin a Mandarin language course designed for native speakers, and which concentrates on reading and writing, this fall, in addition to my other economics requirements. I think this Chinese course will be the deciding factor into whether I will declare a second major in Chinese. I figured I may as well take the plunge, since taking this "native" class places me at an advantage in that I become exempt from the beginner Mandarin courses. What's more, the rest of the major requirements consist of electives such as literature, Chinese culture, and other non-language CHIN electives that are taught in English. So why not major in Chinese?

Post-Holidays Post

2009-01-04T19:44:00.006-07:00

I reserve the same sentiment at this time of year that I've held for the past few years: a slight feeling of dreariness. It is always a drag after Christmas and New Year's, and I find myself not wanting to let go of the previous year. Maybe that's a good thing; maybe it signals nostalgia.

Pre-Christmas and post-finals was an especially awesome time. I did probably 80% of the Christmas shopping for my household this year, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The wrapping was also fun. I ended 2008 celebrating Matthew and I's one-year dating anniversary. I know how cheesy it sounds, but I wasn't about to pass up my boyfriend's own initiative to arrange something special. Since his parents would be out of town he was staying at his parents' house to watch his younger brother. I joined him on the 31st (the anniversary) for quiet time involving a home-cooked dinner, pizza, and two Jack Nicholson movies: Something's Gotta Give and As Good As It Gets. I don't think we could have celebrated the occasion better; I had also caught a cold of sorts in the days prior so I appreciated the low-keyness. Something's Gotta Give is one of my favorite movies. I could watch it over and over again. In the middle of the night at some point, Matthew gave me a very small gold chain! Stunning. It is only one-half of the gift, though. The online store fucked up and have yet to deliver the koala bear pendant that he bought separately. But I don't mind, as he's been refunded the fee he paid for expedited shipping.

I have also finalized my class schedule for my second semester at the U of Utah. It's gone through two or three rounds of adjustments since my starting registration date in November. My last schedule arrangement included a half accounting/business focus and half history focus, as preparation for a tentative move toward a professorship in history or something similar. Since then, however, I got a B in my Victorian Britain history class and have become rather disillusioned at the prospect of a professorship. I don't think it was the lower-than-expected grade that made me doubt my abilities as much as that it simply got me thinking, as little things tend to do with me. It got me to thinking about the potential finance route I had always imagined myself pursuing as a youngster. I realized that I have always been more comfortable in a static environment--not that I wouldn't like business trips or hustle and bustle in my work place. But I guess I have always seen myself as a business suit wearing professional working on Wall Street. So now I've got half of my schedule devoted to accounting, and the other to economics.

I just hope my classes end up being a good fit for me, and that Matthew and I will study well together. Crazy as it sounds, it really was great to study with people in Bobst even if I didn't always get much done. It was great even studying there alone but surrounded by strangers, to be engulfed in a place where everyone was working toward one thing. I have always been pretty comfortable in a classroom type of environment when I have been left to my own devices, i.e., not picked on by the teacher to say something insightful.

I hope everybody had a nice holiday. I don't have a new year's resolution because I don't believe in new year's resolutions. I just have resolutions. I guess I'll end this post with a list:

1) Devote myself to once-daily bikram yoga when schedule permits (to begin once I get my car back from the shop in 10 days or so... )

2) Read more

3) Sell my latin dance shoes

4) Be more extroverted

5) Cook more, eat out less

To Be a Consumer Whore

2008-12-07T08:00:00.002-07:00

Thankfully, I accomplished my first major round of Christmas shopping last night. I've been eager to ship out my gifts for the girls in New York, and to avoid the catastrophe that was last year--my shipment to the UK cousins arrived on or after Christmas.

I am just happy and relieved that the gifts have been wrapped and are ready for shipment (though I need to get their address first). I even wrote all the cards last night. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully they will like the gifts. Now that I've taken care of that, I can take my time with the presents I don't have to ship.

This topic of gift giving inevitably leads to my not-so-aggressive avoidance of acquiring things. This frugality of mine, per se, does not seem to apply to clothes. Ever. Most times I see something affordable or cheap (nearly always on sale) which I like, and that fits well. That's fine, I suppose--the accumulation of random articles of clothing whose cost you barely even feel every month when it's time to pay off the credit card bill. But then oftentimes this piece is unique--it's got a different color palette from the rest of your wardrobe or just an out-of-this-world fit (OK, maybe not that unique)--so that you then have to shop for another piece to go with that thing. When adding pieces to my closet I typically think of the frequency of wear. Higher frequency = bigger love.

Now, I'm not saying that I buy crazy, loud clothing. That's not what makes the new individual pieces stand out from the rest of my clothes. For example, right now I have got a brand new skirt still in its shopping bag and with tag attached. It consists of black, grey, and light grey--shouldn't be a challenge at all to find matching pieces. However, it's got a unique fit. Even if I do have a solid colored shirts--white, red, electric blue, black, whatever--they wouldn't necessarily work (and they don't) because of fit. The skirt hits a few inches above the knee and tapers there, but it's not quite a balloon skirt. The taper is very subtle, and the skirt has a higher waist, hits maybe just below the belly button.

Anyway, long story short, I whored out on Target.com again yesterday, as I saw a light grey long-sleeved shirt with bright red cuffs that might work with the skirt. Otherwise, I'll return both of them. I also bought a whole host of other things to take advantage of free shipping on orders over $50. (Those will, more likely than not, be returned to the store.) Don't want to pay more than $4 for shipping considering that's how much the shirt cost, do I? Note: I was browsing the racks at the physical Target store last week and found the skirt for $6.

After last night, I promised myself that I won't buy any more clothing for a long while. I am not going to set that goal at six months. I say this because while I was buying gifts for friends, I constantly wandered away to look at things for myself, and by things I mean clothes. I am frugal about everything else otherwise.

2008-12-03T20:14:00.003-07:00

I'm on Blogger for the simple reason of starting afresh from LiveJournal, though it has been a long while since I last updated that. I still read my LJ friends' entries, so that isn't really helping my cause, but I do like Blogger, maybe because of its association with Google, and anything Google seems holy these days. I wish Chrome for Mac would come out soon. What the fuck is taking so long?

How does one find friends on this thing, anyway? That is really the only inconvenience I've found with Blogger, as opposed to LJ, which seems to be more network-/friends-oriented.

On November 22, I went to the Coldplay concert here in Salt Lake. It came as a complete surprise days before, when I received an e-mail confirming my selection to volunteer for Oxfam, which is traveling on the Coldplay tour to promote its cause. Volunteering meant that I would get a free ticket for the show, which was a no-brainer not to pass up. The volunteer job entailed being like an Oxfam salesperson of sorts. I can't say I enjoyed it no matter how good the cause. Going around approaching random people about e-mail sign-ups was rather torturous, but I was glad by the time it was over and we were dismissed to watch the show.

As for the show, the set list was amazing. I felt rather embarrassed when Coldplay played a couple of songs from their album X&Y, and I had virtually forgotten all the lyrics to those songs. It's been a hell of a long time since I've bothered listening to that album, for it disappointed me so. I think the band has come out and agreed with me about it, too--that its production and creative process were too contrived and too calculated. Viva la Vida feels much more natural and poetic, I think. They better keep it up, because I constantly have to vie for them against Matt's back drop of punk and rap music. Check out my Facebook for shitty pictures. I have not been able to figure out why my 1GB card will only allow up to 20 photos at any one time, so throughout the show I had to delete the shitty ones before I could take any new photos. I was using my compact camera, too, not the SLR.

What I really had in mind as I began this post, though, was the fact that I think planning is really all I ever think about and all I ever do. Admittedly, 30% of that might involve dreaming. In any case, I strive to accomplish a breadth of things. The obstacle to this involves a lack of direction, however. Considering how much foresight I seem to do, one would think that I had a whole host of endeavors I wish to pursue. I suppose I do have a good list of things, just not a way in which to accomplish these things. I don't know how I will afford my own place in New York City again, this time not a dorm but my own home. I just know I will try my hardest and work very hard to make it happen. Will I be able to reach my goal of living with a zero carbon footprint? What about taking care of my children? And those unholy New York property taxes? The list goes on. I am open to suggestions, by the way.

Had I Believed...

2008-11-08T20:47:00.002-07:00

It has been a few days since Election Day, and I am still truly and pleasantly surprised. The same man whom I saw over a year ago at the Washington Square Park rally in Manhattan had snagged the nomination and subsequently the office of United States president, and by a large margin no less.

I still remember my sentiments after the rally. I was mesmerized by his speech, likening the orator's hold on me to that of a lively Christian service in which masses of people move to the music of their god. Obama moved me, and my recognition of this fact disallowed me from believing in him simply because of his oratorical skills and sincere disposition. Yet, I continued to support the Democrats in small ways, following the primary contests and even volunteering 30 minutes of my time at Obama's New York headquarters, researching media outlets in Harlem for an Obama (fundraising, I believe) event to be held there.

Gradually, my quiet support transitioned toward Clinton. I very well could be wrong in my support, not considering myself a particularly politically savvy person. But I admire Clinton greatly for her deep competence regarding the issues plaguing this country, as well as the breadth of her career and all that she has contributed. I voted for her on Super Tuesday.

However, I would be lying if I said that I prefer Obama more than Clinton or vice versa. In fact, I think either as president would be an admirable choice. The moment that Obama earned the Democratic nomination, he had my full support. I support him fully now that he has won and hope that he will not falter. I hope that he takes the best from all of his advisers' opinions and am confident that he will consult only the best, and make all final decisions only with the best and most rational judgment.

I can't wait for his administration to go into effect.

The only thing I wonder about now is whether I would've been even more excited and elated had I supported him from the very beginning--the junior senator from Illinois! Watching the final rally in Chicago on November 4, I could only imagine how much more amplified the energy was there than it was in Washington Square, where over 40,000 attended.